"Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. ~Luke 12:27-31
When we found out we were prego with Brooklyn, the thought of "what should we do about the car?" almost immediately came to mind. We have a Saturn Ion (and at the time, also a Lancer) and we discussed if we should get a bigger car or not. After discussion, prayer and research, we decided that we were going to buy some different car seats and try to squeeze all 3 kiddos in the back of my Saturn instead of getting a bigger car. We knew it was going to be tight. We knew it would *barely* fit, but when we measured it, it should work. This would give us at least 6 extra months to continue saving. See, we worked really hard to get out of debt and now refuse to get into more if at all possible. So financing a vehicle is out of the question. When it's time to buy bigger, it'll be in cash. And although we could go buy a car today if need be (or in February), having an extra 6 months to a year to save would allow us to buy a car we really love rather than one that would just "do".
So a couple weeks ago we bought one of the new, skinny, car seats. Our plan was to buy 2 of these seats and then use the infant carrier. Again, on paper, it works. But after installing the one car seat, I thought "I just don't see how it's all going to fit." Having it work on paper and having it actually fit properly and safely are two different things. I started getting a lot of anxiety over it. We decided before we buy the 2nd car seat, that we'll barrow my sister's (who has the same one), install that one with the infant seat and see if it all really will work. We arranged to do that today....so we'll see what happens tonight.
Back to the anxiety part of it though. So that night we installed car seat #1 and it looked like it wouldn't fit, I started getting really anxious. We've worked REALLY hard to get money saved and we just realized that the amount of money we once were in debt for, we now have in savings. We were so excited that we were making progress. REAL progress. We just sold Darrin's Lancer to save money. We are trying to save to buy a house. If we would have to go buy a another car, some of the money we worked so hard for to go towards a down payment on a house would be gone. I already was feeling so upset and defeated. But then the Lord spoke to my soul. "Calm your anxious spirit, my child" He reminded me that it's not US that has worked so hard to get this money in savings...it's God who has blessed us with it. Yes, we have made choices to be good stewards of the finances He has blessed us with, but it is HE who has blessed us. We are not entitled to any of it. But God has poured out His blessings onto us. And HE is in control of this situation too. Why do we worry? It's because we don't trust God. It's a faith issue. That night, I thought we were in control - that's why I was worried. Because I thought that since we were in control, we needed to figure it out. In the above verse it says the PAGANS run around worrying about things. The pagans, the non-believers. But Christ is in me. He DIED for me....of course he's going to take care of this little situation. I don't need to run around, worrying about such things. God is good and I don't need to "figure" anything out. He's got it taken care of and HIS ways are not my own. That night God gave us such peace about this situation. And reminded us to be joyful. This is a GOOD predicament we're in. We're having another baby. What a joy! We've been blessed beyond means...what a thing to be thankful for. And above all, God used this situation to reveal an area that I need refining in. Trusting God in ALL things, every single time. Praise the Lord that He constantly allows situation to happen in our life that exposes us to ways we can be perfected in. Praise that Lord that He loves me so much, that He wants me to be shaped and molded more like Him. I was talking to our mom's group mentor mom today and she reminded me of this verse and that we should ask or worry "What will this baby wear?" "What will in ride in?" "Will it be healthy or not?" But we just need to trust that God is in control. Whatever the outcome, HE is faithful and is weaving a wonderful story of our lives. All we need to ask, every morning is, "How can I glorify you today?" And when situations arise, we asked "God, how can I glorify your name in this situation?" Awwww , so refreshing. To let go of that worry and just say "God, use me to glorify you." To be intentionally looking for ways that we can glorify God with our lives. Such a twist from that anxious feeling. It's actually an exciting feeling. Ok God, what are you going to do now? What adventure will you take me on? What wonderful thing will you take from my life today and use it so that your name can be praised? I don't know what the outcome of the car situation will be tonight, but I'm excited to see how God can be glorified through! Stay tuned -- I'll be bragging on Him soon. :)
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